Might As Well Face It, You're Addicted...

Go ahead, sing along.  I'm finding this our mantra and I like it!

When we dropped off our last placement at Lydia Home a week and a half ago, they were ready to pop another one in my car for the ride home like a swinging door.  I told them no - It was recharge time for me and my family - had to get Dr.'s appointments done, go on some bike rides, etc...  Well, that lasted about two days and we were done.  Grouchiness started to surface.  Bickering.  Indulgence.
Got me into a book by Gerald May called Addiction and Grace.  WOW.  I was reading it partly for my own issues and partly for educating myself for the sake of others.  After becoming involved with all these moms who lose their kids from addiction issues, the fire inside me was being stoked, and I figured out where I wanted to focus my upcoming degree.  But, of course, I learned more about myself and what is at the root of my own issues.

Here are some cool things I learned about addiction from this amazing book:

It seems to me that free will is given to us for a purpose:  so that we may choose freely, without coercion or manipulation, to love God in return, and to love one another in a similarly perfect way.

"Nothing", God says, "must be more important to you than I am."

It is addiction that keeps our love for God and neighbor incomplete.

God is always trying to give good things to us, but our hands are too full to receive them.

Addiction can be, and often is, the thing that brings us to our knees.

We can choose whether to relax our hands a little or to keep clenching them ever more tightly... this simple choice may be the greatest kind of struggle any human being can face...

Then we will realize that we are our own worst enemies; we cannot beat ourselves.  At that point, when we have exhausted all the available false repositories for our hope, it is possible that we will turn to God with a true sense of who we are, with an integrity that is both humble and confident, with a dignity that knows itself because it has met its limits.

In a nutshell - choosing to let go of the thing that is drawing us away from God, and choosing, instead to cling to the One who made us in the first place, allows us to know love and to love others!  I would like to propose the opposite is also true.

I was given a time of unexpected free time yesterday.  Camps and playdates all of a sudden coincided.  I was going to read or listen to music, but God told me He just wanted me to sit with Him.  So, I did.  I confessed and then told Him that I loved Him.  I liked how that felt (probably because I was doing what He wanted), so I did it a few more times; "I love you, God."
Two minutes later a text came through with an opportunity to keep a one year old girl for two to three weeks because her mom was homeless, jobless, and needed to find a stable place to be.  I had no reservations.  This was God responding.  Saying, "I love you, too".  I called and she is now in our home.  And we are much happier now.  You see, when we "spend ourselves on behalf of the hungry, and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then our lights will rise in the darkness" (Isaiah 58:10).  The light in our hearts turned on.  That's how we were made.  We are addicted to love.  We needed more and more - to give it and to get it.  And in that, there is no room for other addictions, because when our hands are open to God,  and He fills us completely, why grasp for anything else?


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