Forget the Gym, the Diet, Quitting Smoking, or Improving Your Finances, Let 2018 Be a Year of Increased Intimacy!

In his wildly controversial book and TED talk, the author of Chasing the Scream, Johann Hari, stands on, and backs up extensively many claims about drugs, but this one has made the most headway and is the base of his upcoming sequel:

The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it's connection.

After spending a year interning as a probations officer for high-risk women who desperately lack intimate relationships (though they have plenty of "facebook friends"), I have to say that I have learned to agree with this statement.  And, for those of us in Twelve-Step programs, we know it's true.  Connection to God and the group keeps us out of our addictions.

In her fabulously popular Jesus Calling devotional, Sarah Young said her journaling really began to change her when she went from monologue (just journaling to God) to dialogue (allowing Him to speak back).  And the world benefitted.

Dictionary.com defines intimacy as a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving relationship with another person or group.   In her devotionals, Young encourages intimacy with Jesus by allowing Him to speak to us.  In referring to Him as "Sweet Jesus", she writes words that hold  us in the soft and strong arms of God, such as these:

I long to pour myself into your neediness. 

The closer to me you grow, the more fully you become your true self.

Open yourself fully to My Presence.

The prompt to increase intimacy this year rather than going after all of those other totally popular (and good) resolutions is because intimacy is a fire that burns up the desire for things that actually destroy us.  George MacDonald explains: 

"The fire of God, which is His essential being, His love, His creative power, is a fire unlike its earthly symbol...  when we turn to begin to approach Him, the burning begins to change to comfort..."  

What happens when we are comforted?  We don't really want anything else.  What we previously tried to plug ourselves into to "charge" us no longer lures us - we have found the True Source - The One who only wanted us to rest in Him all along.

I just returned from Florida and it was not as hot as I had hoped.  However, each day there was a time when the sun was out and I found a quiet spot protected from the wind where I could set my face towards it and be still and warm.  I think this is what MacDonald is talking about.  When you are here - in the fire of this relationship, you really don't want to move and you long for nothing else.  

One of the best ways to cultivate intimacy with God is through Centering Prayer.  It has been something that I have benefitted from this past year.  It gives us a purposeful, quiet space with God and teaches us to let go of the thoughts that come into our head on a minute-by-minute basis which often cause us to act in ways that aren't too becoming ;).  (This is especially helpful for those of us who might have a tendency to be somewhat impatient or critical - with self and others.)  Some of its' benefits as stated by some big advocates of this practice are listed below.  You will see that the critics of it, who claim that it is merely naval-gazing, can be silenced. (The link to website with instructions is below):

Returning to my sacred symbol keeps my energy available to respond to the needs of others instead of being wasted in my thoughts. (Thomas Keating)

(Centering Prayer) Teaches me that God’s love is an endless sea of mercy and unconditional acceptance.  (As you) Fall into the endless sea of love - it will allow you to accept the mystery of yourself and everybody else. (Richard Rohr)

(Centering Prayer) Frees us from our public selves and steeps us in our spiritual selves so that we have more to give to the rest of our world in the future… (Joan Chittister)

http://www.contemplativeoutreach.org/category/category/centering-prayer

When Jesus arrived on this earth, He exchanged poverty for intimacy.  He made Himself nothing so that we could be closer to Him (Php. 2:7).  In Centering Prayer, we are asked to do the same, but we are the ones who ultimately become rich.  As we seek intimacy with others, we are often asked to follow His example - of giving something up for this connection - which we are then able to do out of His abundance that is now in us.

This quote is from the last book I read in 2017 - Love Let Go, by Laura Truax and Amalya Campbell:

"It's not a coincidence that some have money while others have needs.  This is how God's economy works...  We all share a connection, a common bond we have one to another, and we complete that bond when we share what we have with one another - needs are offered to those with resources, while those with resources give to the needs.  And when that intersection happens, there is an eruption of joy.  Of celebration.  There is a sense that this is what we were made for."

In the photo above, do you see the joy erupting on the faces of the ones who have just connected? Connection leads to intimacy and will heal us, give us purpose, and make us free to become who we were made to be.  Sometimes we are the needy.  Sometimes we are the one who is resourced.  We connect and make each other whole when we see and put together the common bond we have with one another.  Opportunities are all over the place.

Flickr photos: Lorean II, dogukan ildokuz, Brian Shackleton